This time last year

It's Thursday and I try to do a weekly update, but today we are going another route.  B is 32 weeks old today though!!  I actually wrote this a few days ago, but decided to post it today after a  call from a friend this morning.   My hope in sharing this is that someone who reads this will find comfort in the fact that others have gone through similar experiences.  We were given hope when we were told to have none so I'm hoping to spread hope...

We have shared this in whole or part with many of you, but I felt like sharing it again for those who haven't heard the whole shebang...

I don't remember the exact date (I've switched from my beloved Blackberry to an iPhone since and lost all previous calendar items) we went to find out if Battley was a boy or girl. H and Adam both went. We were so looking forward to planning for a pink or blue nursery. I think if B was a boy we were going to name her Jay. So here is what I do remember:

It was mid to late October. We found out B is a she!! Then Adam and H decided (since it always took/takes forever at my doc office...which is another story...talk about torture) to leave for school/work.  Side note: I found out later that Adam got his first ever speeding ticket that morning because he was so excited. I met with Dr G (my awesome doc) and he told me he saw 4 "markers" for a chromosomal abnormality. The doc referred me to a fetal specialist, Dr Perry, who is so busy it would take 3-4 weeks to see him. Are you kidding me? Can we say torture? I decided to take the "option b" also which was a simple blood test (I am almost positive it tests for extra 13, 18, and 21st chromosomes...I could be wrong). My doc advised that there are lots of false positives, but since we could get the results back in a few days I went for it.  I made it to the lab okay. The lady who was drawing my blood (which I am already uneasy about bc earlier in the year I had had a miscarriage and had to have blood drawn every other day for 2 weeks...more torture sitting in that dang office...I hope you know I am exaggerating when I say "torture". I know it's really not but it felt like it at the time. And before that I had to go quite a number of times to have blood drawn because we were trying to figure out what turned out to be that I don't ovulate...sorry for all the personal info, fellas! I guess if you stuck with me through see thru pants and back seat pumping in public then this is nothing.)...so we were talking about the blood lady...she gets VERY close to me...close to my face with hers...she wraps that giant rubber band thing around my arm, opens the needle, and says "so does down syndrome run in your family?".  I lost it.  Crying like a baby.  I asked her to please just finish so I could go.   She kept asking if my doc knew how upset I was.   I nodded yes but couldn't get out any other words.   I dried it up in the bathroom when she untied me let me go. I made it all the way to the checkout, back through the waiting room, downstairs, through the parking lot, and into the car before I lost it again.  That's when I called Adam, my mom, and Shannon...see that story here.

2 days later someone called from the office to say I tested negative for everything. I felt guilty for crying to my friend. 

Before our visit with Dr Perry I felt okay for a few days.  Then something just didn't feel right. I knew something was really wrong.  Unless Jesus himself tells me differently, I know that He used Shannon to prepare me before that next appointment. 

Nov 15, 2011 That was a day I'll never forget. We had a late afternoon appointment. First a sonographer looked around for at least an hour...maybe an hour and a half. Then Dr Perry came in and looked for another long while.  I tried to read anything on their faces without them thinking I was staring.  Nothing.   I knew they saw something.  We decided to do an amniocentesis (for info purposes only) that day.  It wasn't really even a "decision"...we just did it because it felt right.

November 16, 2011 I tried to make calls that day for work while we waited for the results.  I was having a chat with a customer who asked me a direct question that I am totally used to, but I was caught off guard that particular time.  I burst into tears and tried to apologize and let him know it wasn't what he said...all while backing out the door. I made it down the block, called my manager to say I was done for the day and maybe the week, and called my customer back to apologize again and explain myself.  I went home to be still.  Adam came home to stay so that I wouldn't be alone when the doc did call.

November 17th, 2011 No call from the doctor. Adam and H went to tennis that night. At 6:30 pm I was sitting on the sofa in the living room...the right side...I'll never forget.  Dr Perry called. I had to call Adam 5-6 times in a row before he answered. I remember looking in the top of H's closet for my Teddy bear (I could leave this part out but why would I do that) while I waited on them to get home.   I also remember getting sick while I was trying to call my mom.   I never found the bear and I think Adam found me on H's bathroom floor.   I don't remember much after that. 

November 17, 2012 I plan to spend the day snuggling with Battley Cate Terhune. God IS Good. He has brought us through at times the hardest year and the best year. 

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I'll try to post Battley's costume pics tomorrow.  Here's a pic for today though:

C