Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Battley Terhune

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to us the past few weeks with your kind words, visits, and most importantly prayers.  They mean more than you can imagine. It's hard to deliver news like this to our friends so someone suggested we start a blog to keep everyone informed.  Here goes...neither of us are writers.

Our baby is a sweet baby GIRL!  Her name is Battley, and we love her SO much.  I've wondered in the past how you can love a second child like the first.  I thought this would be especially hard for me since Hayden and I are so close and it was just the two of us for so long.  My mom used to tell me "it just happens" and it does.  I get that now.

Adam and I learned through sonogram and eventually amniocenteses that our sweet girl has a chromosomal abnormality called Trisomy 18.  You can Google it.  The Wikipedia listing seems to be on target with what our doctors have told us.  In short, her 18th chromosome has 3 chromosomes instead of 2.  This causes multiple problems with babies' hearts, brains, and kidneys.  She is also very tiny because of this.  Realistically the statistics are not in her favor for survival, but we are hopeful for a miracle.  We will accept whatever time God grants us with her.  Every child is a blessing, and we thank God for her everyday.

Adam and I have been to a counselor to deal with the emotions that go along with this.  We will continue to go.  I've stayed away from doing too much online research because I already know what it says, but I did run across an article written about a family who had a son with Trisomy 18.  Some of what the mother had to say was comforting because they were the same thoughts I was having.  Here is a link to the article: http://hamptonroads.com/2008/03/remembering-infants-sixday-life

One of the things she said really stood out to me because it mirrored my exact thoughts the day I read it.  How many times have I had a friend or family member experience a loss and not known what to say...afraid I would say the wrong thing.  I was worried people wouldn't talk to me or be scared of us.  I talk for a living...how was this going to affect my business?  After I read this I promised myself that no matter what people did say to me, I would just be thankful people were talking to me.  Here are her words:
"I know how I've felt on the other end, how paralyzed with the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing," Heidi wrote. "... I'm not expecting perfect words from anyone. Don't be afraid of me, of us, of this. If your heart tells you to do something for us, I promise I won't be upset. I think more than anything I just need people to act, to not wait for me to tell you what to do."

Adam, Hayden, and I covet your prayers for Battley. 

C

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